Off Guard
by evergloweyes
Summary: It’s as though he is already preparing himself for something that he’s not ready to hear. “She’s doing it for you. Only you.” He definitely wasn’t ready to hear that.
1. Chapter 1

-x-

**Author's Note:** **Completely random one-shot. Don't know if I will continue it or not, I don't love it, but it was stuck in my head and I had to get it out. Oh, and Kelli FTMFW!**

-x-

_It's funny,_ he thinks as he enters Clothes Over Bros, how close he and Brooke have become lately.

They haven't been close since freshmen year of high school when he started dating Peyton Sawyer. They were close when they were younger, running in the same social circle, the prince and princess of their group of friends – but then he started dating her best friend and everything changed. He spent less and less time with Brooke and more and more time with Peyton.

Then they broke up and Haley came along. He realizes it now, as he walks through her store, to her workroom in the back, that he has missed her friendship. Since Quentin's funeral and the robbery at Brooke's store, the two have gotten progressively more comfortable with each other. She's confided in him, a little bit more each day and they've slowly become just as close as Brooke and Haley were back in junior year.

After her return from New York, she finally broke down. He woke up to a hysterical phone call from her and immediately drove over to her house. He found her lying on the floor, a mess of tears and sniffles and she finally told him the whole story. The attack. Her mother. Deb and the gun. He held her for hours as she poured her heart out, yet he couldn't help but think that Lucas should have been the one holding her.

Ironically, it's how he finds her again today – collapsed on the floor, tears streaming down her face with a needle and thread between her thumb and forefinger. She's sitting in front of a wedding dress, Peyton's wedding dress. The dress she had so gracefully and selflessly agreed to make for her best friend's wedding to the man of her dreams.

And just like that night a few months ago, Nathan drops down to the ground beside her and wraps her in his arms. His grip on her is tight, almost as tight as he holds Haley, because she's come to mean just that much to him. She's his best friend; his surrogate little sister and the best godmother possible to his five year old son.

Her tears stop after a few moments and she twists her way out of his arms, stands up straight, brushes the wrinkles out of her skirt and composes herself.

"How long have you been crying, Davis?"

She scoffs. "Just long enough. I really need to stop doing this."

She's disappointed in herself, he can tell. She expects herself to be stronger than this. It's partially their faults – Haley, Peyton, Lucas. They've come to rely on her for advice and strength, never really letting Brooke lean on them in return.

"Brooke, it's okay. I'm not dumb. I know you love him and I know how hard this is on you." She ponders this for a moment and wonders just when Nathan figured everything out. She's never said it outright, nor will she ever, if she can prevent it. But he's right. She loves him. She's always loved him and it's going to kill her to see him marry her best friend.

The smile she gives him is thankful. He's the only one who understands just how much this hurts.

"It's okay to be upset and angry. It's okay to be angry with Lucas and Peyton right now. It should be you in Peyton's place. We all know that."

"It shouldn't – "

"Don't say that. We all know it should be you. He's never been as complete as he was with you. Haley knows it, I know it, you know it. Hell, even Jamie is asking me why Lucas is marrying Peyton and not you."

It's the first thing in weeks that has been able to make her laugh. It's nice to see her smile again, he's decided. Somehow their group of five just isn't the same when the brunette isn't smiling.

Her mood changes quickly, however, and she trails her fingers along the neckline of the wedding gown. It's not made for Peyton, he thinks. It's made for her. Peyton won't look half as gorgeous as Brooke would in that dress. He wonders for a moment if she envisioned herself in Lindsey's wedding gown as well. As he thinks this, he notices Brooke's eyes glaze over and decides, yes, she definitely has envisioned herself in both gowns.

"You're doing great, Brooke." His words snap her out of her trance and she takes a step away from the dress, "you're being incredibly brave. You're the bravest person I know."

_Brilliant, beautiful, brave._

And it's true. Because Lucas molded her into the person she is now. Lucas did for Brooke what Haley did for him – changed them into better versions of themselves. Haley and Lucas taught he and Brooke what it was like to love, to trust, to give yourself fully to another human being. Brooke wouldn't be where is she today without Lucas, just like he wouldn't be where he is without Haley.

"I honestly don't know how I'm going to do it, Nate. Walk down that aisle with my eyes glued on him, while he's waiting for someone else."

His heart breaks for her just a little bit more. She doesn't deserve it. She deserves to be happy and loved, and while he is sure that his brother loves her, he is also sure that Lucas won't ever act on it. Lucas doesn't know for sure that Brooke still loves him; he's too scared to ask and she's too selfless to tell him.

He doesn't have any words to comfort her this time, so he just wraps his arms around her. She nuzzles her head into his chest and if even for a brief moment, she feels better. Nathan will protect her. No matter how much she is hurting, Nathan will make things better.

-x-

He walks into his brother's room and silently thanks the higher powers that Lucas isn't in bed with Peyton. It's the middle of the day and he assumes that Peyton is at the studio recording or at some flower shop picking out the perfect flowers for Brooke's maid of honor bouquet.

Lucas is instead hovered over his computer, typing.

"Writing another love story?" he asks as he takes a seat on the edge of the bed.

"Nope." Lucas chuckles, " Just emailing my mom and Andy to make sure that they'll be able to make it for the wedding next month."

Nathan nods and wonders how he's going to do this. He needs to let Lucas know that Brooke still loves him. As much as he will be betraying Brooke and Peyton and Lucas, he needs to tell him. He can't sit back and watch this wonderful girl crumble before his eyes over his brother.

"So I just came from the store. Talked to Brooke for a while." It's nonchalant. The only way he can think of bringing it up, but he does notice Lucas' eyes shoot up at the mention of her name. It gives him hope.

"How is she? I haven't checked in lately."

_No shit,_ he thinks. He blames Lucas for not being there for Brooke. For being so obsessed with keeping Peyton happy that he has neglected his friendship with Brooke. It's amazing how even after neglecting her for so long she still manages to love him with every fiber of her being.

"She's getting by. She was working on Peyton's dress."

Lucas smiles briefly, but Nathan can't help but notice that it doesn't quite reach his eyes. They enter a deafening silence for a few moments before Lucas speaks again, "I can't thank Brooke enough for making that dress. She made one for Lindsey and now she's doing it again for Peyton. She really loves Peyton."

"She's not doing it for Peyton." His response it automatic and he knows that this is his chance, to let Lucas know what Brooke has been keeping from him all these years.

Lucas doesn't say anything. He stands there silently, staring at his brother. It's as though he is already preparing himself for something that he's not ready to hear.

"She's doing it for you. Only you."

He definitely wasn't ready to hear that.


	2. Chapter 2

-x-

_**She said,**_

_**"Turn your back cause you'll never understand."**_

_**I can't get through**_

_**I can't get through to you**_

_**But the silence and the shaking of your hands**_

_**Says differently to me**_

_**You watched me wait on the steps of your house**_

_**I stood outside, you refused to come out**_

_**And honestly, this is making me sick.**_

_**All this time**_

_**I tried to hide**_

_**The truth inside**_

_**But this is making me sick.**_

_**This is making me sick.**_

-x-

**Decided to continue a bit. I don't know what else will come of this. But I had this dream last night that made me write.  
**

-x-

"Uncle Lucas?" Jamie's blonde head peaks around the doorway into Lucas' bedroom.

"What's up Jimmy-Jam?" Jamie makes his way into the room, jumping on the bed while Lucas drags his chair closer to the edge of the bed. He can hear Peyton and Haley gossiping loudly in the kitchen about wedding plans.

"I was just wondering if I have to call Peyton _'Aunt Peyton'_ when you two get married? Cause I call Aunt Brooke _'Aunt Brooke'_ but no one else that. So do I have to?" His blue eyes search Lucas's and he can't help but feel a stab of pain to his chest.

"I guess not. But just because I'm marrying Peyton doesn't mean Brooke isn't your Aunt Brooke. She's your godmother and she loves you. But Peyton loves you too, so I'm sure she'd like it if you called her aunt, but its up to you."

Jamie nods solemnly and Lucas knows that he's saddened by his answer. "Do you not want Peyton to be your Aunt?"

The boy takes a moment before answering. "It's not that….I just don't want her to replace Aunt Brooke. Sometimes I wish you were marrying her instead."

He doesn't know what else to day.

-x-

It's unusually warm for the end of December. Instead of glistening snow, dark clouds have been hovering over Tree Hill for the past week and tonight the rain is the hardest that it's been in a while, maybe even since senior year. The rain might very well be the reason he's standing in front of the door of Clothes Over Bros banging madly on the glass, hoping to be heard over the thunder and lightning.

Finally he sees Brooke's figure make her way towards the door, quickly unlocking the door and stepping aside to let him in. When he steps through the entrance, discarding his coat onto the couch and he immediately notices the half empty bottle of red wine on the counter and two wine glasses sitting next to it – only one harboring the red liquid.

"What are you doing here, Lucas? The storm outside is crazy!" Her eyes are slightly glazed over and red, but other than that she doesn't fumble over her words – she can't be that drunk.

"I needed to talk to you." He says softly.

"Couldn't it have waited until after the storm?"

"No, it's important." Nathan's words from a few weeks back have been haunting him ever since they came out.

_She's doing it for you._

He hasn't been able to think of anything else ever since. He can't concentrate on Peyton or the movie or wedding planning. To top it all off, Jamie's confession about wanting him to marry Brooke instead of Peyton had only added to it. It's crazy that a five year old's words have sent him out during the middle of a potential hurricane to talk to his ex girlfriend.

"Okay, I'm listening." She stands a few feet away from him; arms folded around her self, pulling her sweater closer to her body.

He can't really explain what his plans are now that he's actually here next to her. He hadn't thought that far ahead. The only thing he needs is to know whether or not it's true. Whether or not she is making that wedding dress for him. Whether she still loves him.

"Why are you making Peyton's wedding dress?" The words fumble out of his mouth, making him seem like a bumbling idiot.

She bites her lower lip and arches her eyebrow. "Is this a joke, Lucas?"

"No. I need to know why." He's emphatic and she knows from his tone that he isn't joking with her.

"Because Peyton is my best friend and I love her and you're my friend and you two are getting married. And I'm the only fashion designer around. So I'm making her a wedding dress." She says it as though it's the most obvious thing in the world.

He stares at her in silence for a moment. "Bullshit." He growls.

Her face falls. "Excuse me?"

"I said bullshit. I know why you're making that dress and it's not because you love Peyton."

She scoffs and perches her hands on her denim-clad hips. "Oh really? Well then, why don't you enlighten me about why exactly I'm making this dress then?"

He takes a deep breath and runs his hands through his hair. He needs to go about this the right away. He can't scare her off or he'll get nowhere. However, those thoughts fly out the window as his mouth seems to magically open and the words _"because you love me"_ come out.

It comes for only a split second, but Brooke's entire façade seems to crumble after processing his words. Her eyes soften, her lips part and her hands shake. Almost as quickly as it comes, it's gone and replaced are darkened, cold eyes and mouth that is clamped shut.

Instead of acknowledging his statement, Brooke just struts over to the door and opens it. "I would like for you to leave now."

He didn't expect that.

"No." He replies forcefully. "Not until you talk to me."

She shakes her head just as forcefully and tells him that she doesn't need to talk to him. Her reasons for making his fiancee's wedding dress are her own and he should give up and go home to Peyton.

"I can't. I need to know what's going on with you, Brooke. Tell me what you're feeling."

_I'm a wreck, I'm a mess, you're a stranger. _That's how she's feeling. He hasn't been a friend to her in months and he can't just start now. Moreover, he can't just storm into her store and accuse her of still being in love with him because the answer won't matter – he'll still marry Peyton.

"Why do you care?" Her voice is softer than before and she walks forward towards him. He looks at her questioningly. _Why does he care? He's always cared._

"Because I've always cared about you, Brooke." His blue eyes meet hers and she knows he's being truthful, but his actions have never proved it. Something inside her head and her heart flips and she becomes enraged.

"Cared? Are you kidding me? You've never given a damn about me! Where the fuck have you been the past six months if you've truly cared about me? Oh, I know, off fucking my best friend and planning your wedding! Where were you when I got attacked? Where were you when I went to New York to confront Victoria? Where were you when Sam ran away? Huh? Where the fuck where you Lucas? Because I couldn't seem to find you anywhere."

Her face is bright red and there are tears streaming down her cheeks at this point. Her small body is shaking and her hands are tightened into fists at her side.

"Brooke – " he begins, but she doesn't seem to hear him.

"Where the fuck were you senior year? When I was crying alone in bed every night over you? Where were you when I was sleeping with my English teacher and then found out he cheated on me? Where were you when I found out I was pregnant with your child and then miscarried less than three months later? Where the fuck were you?"

His whole world stops at her words. _She was pregnant. With his child. She miscarried. And he wasn't there._

At this point Brooke has crumpled down on the floor against the couch, sobbing hysterically and shaking. But all he can feel is anger. All he can see is rage. He wants to feel bad for her, he wants to kiss her, but it's been almost six years and he's just now finding out about the child he lost. So he goes at her and she cowers away from him.

He's screaming, cursing, yelling. He's calling her selfish and immature and stupid and a whore. He's yelling that he hates her, that if she ever loved him she would have told him about both the pregnancy and the miscarriage when it happened.

Neither seem to hear the door slamming behind them.

He crouches down over her and moves to get into her face, but is stopped when a fist collides with the side of his face. Lucas loses his balance and falls on the ground, vaguely making out Julian's figure picking up Brooke's shaking body and placing her on the couch. Julian wraps his arms around Brooke and whispers soothing words into her ear.

Lucas sits back in shock, hand cradling his already bruising cheek and left eye. Before he can even get back up, Julian has him pinned against the wall. Brooke's sobs are mixing in the background with the thunder outside.

"Look man, I don't know what the fuck you did to her, but you better get the hell out of here before I find out." With that Julian releases Lucas and moves back over to the couch with Brooke.

Lucas takes one last look at Brooke Davis, sobbing, out of breath, _broken_, before walking through the front door – from one storm to another.


End file.
